I have learned to tell when she’s coming. She stomps the stairs like an angry giant would. You would expect to see a huge sully man with blood shot eyes, an oversized beard and a large protruding stomach appear, but a rather surprising figure distorts your expectations. She’s quite frail, with an innocent face, thin fingers and tiny legs that are enclosed in black manly leather shoes. She wears long skirts, you only glimpse her legs as she makes a step forward, and she has a rather large pale yellow sweater she wears almost always.
The other day though she wore a dress! I couldn’t help but stare. She came up the stairs with a girl who had an almost identical dress, they must have purchased the dresses at the same store. Dull red in color with shiny shingles, the dresses were just below the knee. She looked great, I must have told her. But I didn’t. I was about a metre away and it was one of those moments when I see something I should complement on but fail to, then wish that I had afterwards. (You know those moments right?) But then, how could I have told her? She looked so happy, I could almost feel the joy drift towards me. I couldn’t just go distract such a great mood. It was the first time I saw her with someone, and also the first time I heard her voice. My, wasn’t it beautiful! She should be a singer. But she’s not. She’s in fact, a masseuse. And from what I gather, she could be the best masseuse around.
She chatted animatedly with her beautiful friend while laughing and being really happy about what I didn’t know. I didn’t really think much about it. Actually, I’ve never really thought much about her. I see her going on her business, I go on mine, and life goes on. But today, I got to think about it and I shivered. Why?
You see, she’s also blind. She wears spectacles and uses a walking stick to find her way around. That must be the reason she stumps the stairs with such vigour because she has never seen them. She doesn’t know how they’re like. She just knows that she should lift her foot higher in the next step or she’ll stumble and fall.
She’s probably in her late twenties. I tried to imagine how life must be for her. How it feels like to have never seen the yellowing horizon of a sunrise or sunset, the dazzling shine of the moon, the contrast of stars to the night, brilliance of a blue sky, her own mother, herself……For more than two decades living a life you’ve never seen. I tried to imagine how it must be like, but I failed. I couldn’t come up with anything.
Yet she still wakes up every single day, looking forward to a brand new dawn. She still carries on with her life vigorously, like she’s got the world in her hands. She still laughs hard from words heard from someone she has never seen. She still lives and breaths.
I’m not trying to say that she shouldn’t do these things, that she should live like she’s half human because she has a disability, or that she should be the most depressed human on the face of the earth. I’m trying to make a point here. To show us that nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing should hold us back from smiling, laughing and living.
It could be something you lack, fall short on or can’t manage to get a hold of. It could be something that scares you. It could be something that brings you down. Whatever it is, always strive to make sure that it doesn’t take away your will to be happy. Life could have decided to deal you that blow, but life can never make the decision of being happy, for you. It’s you that decides, it’s in your hands. You can either decide to live your life fully or you can decide to let something you lack come in your way.
Take that step. Make that decision. Do you want your shortcomings to hold you back from living the life of your dreams? Will you let your weight make you hate yourself? Will you let your disability come in the way of your happiness? Will you allow other people’s views of yourself sadden you? The decision is solely in your hands.
Decide to accept your shortcomings, to love yourself even with all the things you lack and then fearlessly live life. You will see just how easy everything will fall into place.
P.S. On the same note, be sure to read Embrace your flaws. Plus, check out this post by fromdreamtoplan It’s up to you. It reminds you that how you react to the negativity in life, is really in your hands.